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Why Should I Wait One Year to Get into a Relationship?

When we get sober, we begin to engage in a process of personal and spiritual development that will continue throughout our lives. The first year is crucial and we should spend our time focusing on our recovery as much as possible. We may feel as though we are ready for a relationship after a few months sober, but getting into a relationship too early can distract us from our recovery and spiritual life.

Waiting one year to get into a relationship is a common suggestion in recovery. This is because we can easily fall victim to distraction from our spiritual life or “replacing” our Higher Power with the other person. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration.” Overtime, we will strengthen our connection with our Higher Power and find it easier to live in a spiritual manner. When we are in the beginning stages of recovery, however, we can easily lose our spiritual connection by placing more importance on a relationship than on our Higher Power.

Waiting one year to begin a relationship is only a suggestion, but it is based on the collective experience of countless men and women in recovery who have seen negative consequences result from beginning a relationship too early. As we work the steps, we will come to a point where we review our past conduct regarding sex and relationships. We look at where we had been selfish and ask our Higher Power to “mold our ideals and help us live by them,” creating a “sane and sound ideal of our future sex life.” If we get into a relationship before this important step, we will, most likely, repeat the same negative relationship patters as we had before sobriety. With time and experience living the spiritual life of recovery, we will find a loving and meaningful relationship, but it is unlikely that this will happen within the first year of our sobriety.

Addiction doesn’t have to control your life. Recovery is possible. You can discover a life of happiness, joyousness, and freedom in sobriety. Resilient House, located in beautiful Shreveport, Louisiana, is staffed with the highest quality behavioral and addictions specialists, spiritual guides, and holistic experts dedicated to preparing clients for a life that is rich and full without the chains of addiction to hold them back. For information about treatment options, please call today: (833) 242-6431