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Forming a Sane and Sound Sex Ideal

The 4th Step of 12-Step recovery suggests that we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. A part of our moral inventory requires that we take an honest look at our sexual and romantic relationships. Afterward, we try to “shape a sane and sound ideal of our future sex life,” and attempt to change negative habits and patterns of our past.

Everyone has issues surrounding sex and relationships. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably around jealous, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.” The process of unflinchingly examining our past conduct allows us to see behaviors that have hurt others in the past. Gaining an objective view of our past behaviors allows us to see how and why we caused harm, and consider what we should have done instead.

Our newfound understanding of harmful past conduct allows us to form a healthy ideal for the future. The Big Book explains, “In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test—was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them.” The process allows us to set goals for how we will treat others in the future. As a result of our addiction, we often acted out of selfishness and self-seeking motives, giving little consideration to those with whom we were in a relationship. The Big Book continues, “To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.” We apply spiritual principles and sound decision making to every aspect of our lives, and this includes sex and relationships. We will find that our awareness and spiritual connection puts us in a position to be in a healthy relationship, and less likely to cause harm based on selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate actions.

Your life doesn’t have to be held back by the chains of addiction. You can make the decision to seek help today and begin building a brighter future. Resilient House, located in beautiful Shreveport, Louisiana, brings together the highest quality behavioral health and addictions specialists, holistic experts, and spiritual guides to help clients develop all the tools necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety. For information about treatment options, please call today: (833) 242-6431